FIKIR KRITIS category
10 Cara Membahagiakan Ibu Bapa Buat renungan
Setiap anak wajib berbakti dan mentaati ibu bapa bertujuan membahagiakan kehidupan mereka melalui hari tua. Ajaran Islam meletakkan ibu bapa pada kedudukan yang mulia.
Banyak bakti yang boleh dilakukan kepada ibu bapa. Bakti itu dalam bentuk metarial dan hubungan kasih sayang. Ini bersesuaian dengan fizikal ibu bapa yang semakin uzur dan memerlukan lebih perhatian.
Terdapat sekurang-kurangnya 10 bakti perlu dilakukan setiap anak terhadap ibu bapa.
1. Memberi nafkah. Terdapat ibu bapa yang berdepan dengan masalah kewangan. Mereka tidak dapat lagi melakukan tugas seharian disebabkan faktor usia. Kalaupun berkerja, tetapi tidak mencukupi untuk menampung perbelanjaan keluarga yang semakin meningkat. Justeru menjadi tanggungjawab anak memberi nafkah atau bantuan kewangan kepada ibu bapa. Sumbangan itu tidak seberapa berbanding yang dibelanjakan ibu bapa untuk membesar dan mendidik anak.
2. Menyediakan tempat tinggal. Dalam kes ibu bapa yang hilang tempat tinggal, atau tidak sesuai untuk didiami, adalah menjadi tanggungjawab anak menyediakan tempat tinggal yang lebih sesuai kepada ibu bapa. Paling baik jika ibu bapa dibawa tinggal bersama agar dapat menjamin keselamatan dan keperluan harian mereka diuruskan dengan baik.
3. Memberi kasih sayang. Kasih sayang adalah sebagai membalas kasih sayang yang selama ini telah dicurahkan ibu bapa. Kasih sayang ibu dan bapa tidak pernah padam terhadap anaknya. Jadi seharusnya kasih sayang itu dibalas dengan sebaik-baiknya.
Anak yang baik tidak melupai jasa dan kasih sayang kedua ibu bapa. Anak soleh sentiasa memohon kepada Allah agar ibu bapa mereka diberkati dan dicucuri rahmat.
Firman Allah bermaksud: ?Wahai Tuhanku! Cucurilah rahmat kepada mereka berdua sebagaimana mereka mencurahkan kasih sayang memelihara dan mendidikku ketika kecil.? (Surah al-Isra, ayat 24).
4. Memberi perhatian. Ibu bapa yang diabaikan akan merasai kesunyian. Mereka terasa disisih dan dan seperti tidak diperdulikan. Hal ini memberi tekanan perasaan dan menyebabkan kemurungan. Keadaan ini jika berterusan memberi kesan kepada kesihatan fizikal dan mental ibu bapa.
Penerapan amalan memberi perhatian terhadap ibu bapa perlu disemai, dibajai serta disuburkan dalam kehidupan masyarakat kita. Kes anak yang membuang ibu bapa semakin meningkat. Anak memandang jijik terhadap ibu bapa sendiri.
Banyak ibu bapa yang disisihkan dan dihantar ke rumah rumah penjagaan orang-orang tua. Sukar diterima akal anak mendakwa tidak mampu menjaga ibu bapa. Sedangkan, ibu bapa mampu menjaga dan membesarkan beberapa orang anak.
5. Memenuhi permintaan. Ibu bapa seringkali memerlukan bantuan anak untuk melaksanakan sesuatu keperluan. Permintaan itu mungkin dalam bentuk kewangan, tenaga dan masa.
Memenuhi permintaan ibu bapa perlu diutamakan berbanding melakukan tugas lain. Sesungguhnya, memenuhi permintaan ibu bapa lebih baik berbanding melakukan ibadat sembahyang sunat, berpuasa sunat, dan seumpamanya.
Malah keutamaan berbakti kepada ibu bapa lebih utama berjihad di medan perang. Diriwaytkan daripada Bukhri dan Muslim, Ibnu Umar berkata: ?Saya telah bertanya kepada Nabi Muhammad: Apakah perbuatan disukai oleh Allah??
Lalu baginda bersabda: Sembahyang pada waktunya. Kemudian apa?? tanya saya lagi. Baginda menjawab: Berbakti kepada kedua ibu bapa. Saya bertanya: Apa lagi. Jawab baginda: Berjihad pada jalan Allah.
6. Melakukan apa yang disukai. Ibu bapa sudah tentu mengharapkan anaknya melakukan sesuatu yang baik pada pandangan mereka. Melakukan perkara yang tidak sukai ibu bapa bermakna melakukan perbuatan derhaka.
Anak derhaka kepada ibu bapa tidak mendapat keberkatan dalam kehidupannya. Sesiapa derhaka kepada ibu bapa disegerakan balasan di dunia dan tidak terlepas di akhirat.
Sabda Rasulullah bermaksud: Dua kejahatan yang disegerakan balasan di dunia ialah zina dan menderhaka kepada dua ibu bapa.(Hadis riwayat Tirmizi).
Dalam hadis lain diriwayatkan al-Hakam bermaksud: Semua dosa akan ditangguhkan Allah, yakni balasan menurut kehendak-Nya hingga ke hari kiamat, kecuali balasan menderhaka kepada kedua ibu bapa. Maka sesungguhnya Allah menyegerakan balasan kepada pelakunya pada masa hidupnya sebelum mati.
7. Bercakap dengan lemah lembut. Satu cara menjaga perasaan ibu bapa ialah bercakap lemah lembut dengan mereka. Suara hendaklah direndahkan dan jangan membantah permintaan mereka.
Firman Allah bermaksud: Tuhanmu telah memerintahkan, supaya kamu tidak menyembah selain Allah, dan hendaklah berbuat santun terhadap kedua orang tua. Jika salah seorang telah lanjut usianya, atau kedua-duanya telah tua, janganlah sekali-kali engkau berani berkata cis! terhadap mereka dan janganlah engkau suka menggertak mereka. Tetapi berkatalah dengan sopan santun dan lemah lembut. (Surah al-Israk, ayat 23).
Sesungguhnya, anak ditegah membantah kata-kata ibu bapa dengan suara tinggi atau bermaksud merendahkan kedudukan ibu bapa. Lebih baik berdiam diri daripada berkata- kata yang mungkin menyinggung perasaan ibu bapa. Kemudian jika ada kesempatan, gunakan cara yang lembut untuk menjelaskan keadaan sebenar.
8. Menghadiahkan kejayaan. Ibu bapa sentiasa mengharapkan kejayaan anak mereka. Anak hendaklah berusaha bersungguh-sungguh untuk mencapai kejayaan agar dapat dikongsi kegembiraannya bersama-sama dengan ibu bapa.
Jadi, jika memperoleh kejayaan dalam pelajaran, mendapat pekerjaan, dinaikkan pangkat dan seumpamanya, seharusnya dimaklumkan kepada ibu bapa. Ibu bapa dibawa bersama-sama dalam majlis untuk meraikan kejayaan itu.
9. Meluangkan masa bersama-sama. Anak yang tinggal berasingan dengan ibu bapa perlu kerap meluangkan masa mengunjungi ibu bapa. Ibu bapa berasa senang menerima kunjungan dan menatap wajah anaknya.
10. Mendoakan kebaikan untuk ibu bapa. Anak perlu sentiasa mendoakan kebaikan untuk ibu bapanya. Amalan mendoakan kebaikan untuk ibu bapa perlu diteruskan biarpun ibu bapa telah meninggal dunia.
Sabda Rasulullah bermaksud: Apabila meninggal seseorang itu, maka terputuslah segala amalannya, melainkan tiga perkara iaitu sedekah jariah yang berterusan memberi manfaat, ilmu yang memberi kebaikan diajarkan kepada orang lain dan anak yang soleh yang sentiasa mendoakan kebaikan kepada kedua ibu bapanya. (Hadis riwayat Muslim).
Kebaikan dilakukan anak terhadap ibu bapa sebenarnya amat kecil Anak tidak mampu untuk membalas jasa ibu bapa sepenuhnya biarpun dia berbakti sepanjang hayatnya. Gunakan kesempatan yang ada untuk melakukan bakti terhadap ibu bapa sebaik mungkin. Masa untuk anak berbakti kepada ibu bapa sebenarnya semakin suntuk. Lambat laun ibu bapa akan meninggal dunia. Bertindaklah sebelum terlambat, selagi ibu bapa atau salah seorangnya masih hidup.
Category : FIKIR KRITIS
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
FIKIR KRITIS #9
FIKIR KRITIS category
CHANGE THE BABY
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said. "I'll do the next one." The next time came around and she asked again. The husband narrowed his eyes as he looked at his wife. "I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby.
WHY YELLING AT A MAN DOESN'T WORK
What a woman says: This place is a mess! C'mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears:
blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON
blah,blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah,blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES
blah,blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW
DECISION MAKING - Which one will you choose?
The story given below is quite interesting and really. A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.
The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. You could make the train change its course to the disused track and saved most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?
Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make.
Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess.
Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally.
But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?
Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who choose to play where the danger was.
This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community,in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are.
The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.
The friend who forwarded me the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track!
Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.
While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.
"Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right."
A CUP OF TEA (water)
A group of working adults got together to visit their University lecturer.
The Lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.
The Lecturer offered his former students the cups toget drinks for themselves. When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer spoke: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup, but we unconsciously went for the better cups."
"Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold/maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change." "If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy/taste the water in it."
Category : FIKIR KRITIS
CHANGE THE BABY
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said. "I'll do the next one." The next time came around and she asked again. The husband narrowed his eyes as he looked at his wife. "I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby.
WHY YELLING AT A MAN DOESN'T WORK
What a woman says: This place is a mess! C'mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears:
blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON
blah,blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah,blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES
blah,blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW
DECISION MAKING - Which one will you choose?
The story given below is quite interesting and really. A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.
The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. You could make the train change its course to the disused track and saved most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?
Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make.
Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess.
Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally.
But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?
Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who choose to play where the danger was.
This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community,in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are.
The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.
The friend who forwarded me the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track!
Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.
While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.
"Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right."
A CUP OF TEA (water)
A group of working adults got together to visit their University lecturer.
The Lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.
The Lecturer offered his former students the cups toget drinks for themselves. When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer spoke: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup, but we unconsciously went for the better cups."
"Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold/maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change." "If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy/taste the water in it."
Category : FIKIR KRITIS
FIKIR KRITIS #8
FIKIR KRITIS category
Malaysia slips a bit in Corruption Perception Index
by Maria J. Dass
PETALING JAYA (Sept 23, 2008) : The people's perception on the state of corruption has not changed despite concerted efforts by the government to beef up the Anti-Corruption Agency (ACA) and put in place mechanisms to combat corruption.
Malaysia’s corruption perception score for 2008 remains at 5.1 -- the same as last year -- and its ranking down from 43 out of 179 countries in 2007 to 47 out of 180 countries in 2008.
Although Malaysia is placed second among the Asean countries, its world ranking is way below Singapore's, which stands at No. 4.
Denmark, New Zealand and Sweden rank the highest in the world -- with identical scores of 9.3 of a possible 10 -- and the lowest is Somalia, with a score of only one.
Transparency International (TI) Malaysia president Tan Sri Ramon Navaratnam said today that when it comes to corruption perception, Malaysia "just has its head above the water".
"If we start sliding below five, then it is the start of the slippery slope leading down where we need to avoid," he said.
"Among the contributing factors to this perception index is the failed link between poverty and the misallocation of resources, unfair distribution, and the exploitation of the poor by the rich."
He said that while efforts and measures to fight corruption have been put in place, there must be strong will power to implement them by the leaders elected by the people, but if these leaders themselves are corrupt, then it make it all the more difficult.
Admitting that perception is something that will take time to alter, Navaratnam said Malaysia’s CPI reflects this, having moved form 5.1 in 2005 to 5.0 in 2006, and then back to 5.1 in 2007 and this year.
"This shows that all that the government has done has not made any impact on the perception. People don’t believe the changes are real or meaningful because they do not see the difference," he said.
Tan Sri Ramon NavaratnamNavaratnam said the perception will have an impact on business and foreign direct investments as people will shy away from doing business in a country where their cost goes up because they have to fork out money to get things moving.
"If the government is not moving then the people must act," he said.
"Leaders who do not fight corruption should be replaced because the country cannot carry on like this. Other countries have move forward while we seem to be heading for the slippery slope.
"The government will have to walk the talk if the people tell them 'if you don’t sack the people who are corrupt, we will sack you'."
Navaratnam said Asean countries need to do more to address corruption, too, because most of them have fared poorly in ranking and score.
Tan Sri Megat Najmuddin Khas, a TI executive council member and committee member of the Umno disciplinary committee, said addressing money politics in the party is an uphill battle.
He said among the measures being discussed to curb this are putting in mechanisms for transparency in the funding process, enacting laws. ande public funding for political parties.
Malaysia slips a bit in Corruption Perception Index
by Maria J. Dass
PETALING JAYA (Sept 23, 2008) : The people's perception on the state of corruption has not changed despite concerted efforts by the government to beef up the Anti-Corruption Agency (ACA) and put in place mechanisms to combat corruption.
Malaysia’s corruption perception score for 2008 remains at 5.1 -- the same as last year -- and its ranking down from 43 out of 179 countries in 2007 to 47 out of 180 countries in 2008.
Although Malaysia is placed second among the Asean countries, its world ranking is way below Singapore's, which stands at No. 4.
Denmark, New Zealand and Sweden rank the highest in the world -- with identical scores of 9.3 of a possible 10 -- and the lowest is Somalia, with a score of only one.
Transparency International (TI) Malaysia president Tan Sri Ramon Navaratnam said today that when it comes to corruption perception, Malaysia "just has its head above the water".
"If we start sliding below five, then it is the start of the slippery slope leading down where we need to avoid," he said.
"Among the contributing factors to this perception index is the failed link between poverty and the misallocation of resources, unfair distribution, and the exploitation of the poor by the rich."
He said that while efforts and measures to fight corruption have been put in place, there must be strong will power to implement them by the leaders elected by the people, but if these leaders themselves are corrupt, then it make it all the more difficult.
Admitting that perception is something that will take time to alter, Navaratnam said Malaysia’s CPI reflects this, having moved form 5.1 in 2005 to 5.0 in 2006, and then back to 5.1 in 2007 and this year.
"This shows that all that the government has done has not made any impact on the perception. People don’t believe the changes are real or meaningful because they do not see the difference," he said.
Tan Sri Ramon NavaratnamNavaratnam said the perception will have an impact on business and foreign direct investments as people will shy away from doing business in a country where their cost goes up because they have to fork out money to get things moving.
"If the government is not moving then the people must act," he said.
"Leaders who do not fight corruption should be replaced because the country cannot carry on like this. Other countries have move forward while we seem to be heading for the slippery slope.
"The government will have to walk the talk if the people tell them 'if you don’t sack the people who are corrupt, we will sack you'."
Navaratnam said Asean countries need to do more to address corruption, too, because most of them have fared poorly in ranking and score.
Tan Sri Megat Najmuddin Khas, a TI executive council member and committee member of the Umno disciplinary committee, said addressing money politics in the party is an uphill battle.
He said among the measures being discussed to curb this are putting in mechanisms for transparency in the funding process, enacting laws. ande public funding for political parties.
Category : FIKIR KRITIS
Sunday, September 21, 2008
FIKIR KRITIS #7
Fikir kritis category
CHANGE YOUR LIFE : THE 90/10 FORMULA
What is the 90/10 Principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you.90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens during the rest of the day will be determined by how you react over the next 30 seconds. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast to catch the school bus. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to her school.Because you are late, you drive 70 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After getting a traffic summons and another 15-minute delay, you finally arrive at her school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.You look forward to coming home but when you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 30 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off! Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials,problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It could change your own life.
Category : FIKIR KRITIS
CHANGE YOUR LIFE : THE 90/10 FORMULA
What is the 90/10 Principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you.90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens during the rest of the day will be determined by how you react over the next 30 seconds. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast to catch the school bus. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to her school.Because you are late, you drive 70 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After getting a traffic summons and another 15-minute delay, you finally arrive at her school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.You look forward to coming home but when you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 30 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off! Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials,problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It could change your own life.
Category : FIKIR KRITIS
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